Amy’s 2 cents: Just be your fucking self

Be sweary.  Be loud.  Be confident.  Be weird.  Be talkative.
Just be your fucking self.

You know in high school in your final year you get a little picture of just you in the school magazine (yearbook) with your name and a quote that you choose.  My quote was: “I would rather be hated for who I am, than liked for who I am not.”  Obviously the school edited it to “disliked for who I am” because they felt hated was such a strong word.  Ugh.  Weak.

I have been edited my whole life.

By school, by authority figures, by my peers, by the “rules of society” and popular culture.  We are constantly bombarded with messages of how we should be, how we should act, what we should think, How we should dress, what we shouldn’t do and say and think.  Fuck that!

I’m an anarchist.

I believe that we should all make rules for ourselves and do what we think is right.  External forces shouldn’t dictate what we do and who we are.  We should decide for ourselves.

We should just be our fucking selves.

Unedited and unencumbered by other people’s expectations or silly ideas.

You think that outfit is rad?  Wear it.
You think that chocolate looks good?  Eat it.
You think it’s bad to shout at people?  Speak gently.
You feel yucky about the way somebody is being treated?  Speak up.
You think a rule is dumb?  Break it.
You disagree?  Say it.

Why "should" we do anything? Because we want to. Because we believe it's right.

Every time somebody tells you that you look weird or that your idea is dumb or that your opinion doesn’t matter they are trying to make you more like them.  More like everyone else.  More obedient.  More subjugated.

I cannot even count the number of times people have told me that I was too loud and opinionated.  That I was too sweary.  That I was too fat or too thin.  That my outfit was weird.  That I shouldn’t question everything so much.  Especially not the rules.  Sometimes it worked. 

Sometimes I changed my clothes and wore things that were more subdued and like everyone else.  Sometimes I didn’t speak my mind because I was afraid to stand out.  Sometimes I watched as someone was punished for being different themselves and I did nothing, because that was easier than standing up for them.

We edit ourselves.

We dumb ourselves down.  We paint our faces.  We don’t wear weird clothes.  We don’t speak up.  We follow the rules and we fit in.

When we are little we less worried about what others think.  We speak our minds and we do what feels right to us.  Then we are taught that burping is very rude and we should never do it in front of others.  And if we do it accidentally then we should apologise and be ashamed.  Why?  Who decided that burping was rude?  Why should I believe that too?  I now burp freely.  After so many years of filtering my burps through my nose and feeling that burning pain in my nostrils and I now just release the gas buildup through my mouth as I have evolved to do.  And it feels great!

I don’t do right in someone’s face, because I wouldn’t want someone to do that to me.  It can be stinky and a bit gross.  But seeing someone burp in a different direction and hearing the sound?  That’s not gross to me.  I’m not hurting anything else by burping out loud.  I don;t see the need to apologise for it every time and feel embarrased or ashamed at this normal thing that happens to literally every single person on the planet (don’t message me about the 0.0000001% of the world that can’t burp because of their celiacs disease of whatever).  You get my point.

We shouldn't do something just because someone tells us to. We should do it because it makes sense, it's logical and because we believe we should.

And if our choices and actions scare some people away from being our friend then who cares.  They wouldn’t be nice friends for us anyway because they can’t accept us for who we truly are.  And you know what?  The more I conquered my fear of being different and just wore that shiny kitsch outfit or stood up for what I believed was right, the more people actually liked me. 

If somebody is being honestly themselves then you can’t help but trust them.  Because if they aren’t afraid to be themselves then they can’t be hiding too much right?

You’ve read SO MANY articles and posts and all sorts of shit about how authenticity is what sells.  That just means that the more your are yourself, the more people will like you.  The harder we try to be someone else, the less people trust us.  The further away we get from who we are, the more we betray ourselves and alienate others.

So just be your fucking self!

You know how many people in my life have told me that I shouldn’t swear so much?  So many! I shouldn’t swear because it makes me seem crass, unladylike and low-class.  I shouldn’t swear because it’s wrong.  I shouldn’t swear because it’s so very unprofessional.  If somebody doesn’t like swearing then they shouldn’t work with me, because I’m gonsta drop the swear words into almost every conversation.  They are wonderful little adjectives!  And I love me a good adjective.  So it’s best I just be myself right from the start and nobody will be surprised further down the line.

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