Fucking 2021 hey?! All the fucking growth

Well fuck. 

Here I sit at my messy desk again after four months in the depths of a total mental breakdown. I busted my ankle good and proper in April and now I’ve got a bunch of metal screws and a plate in my bones. One very cool scar and another little scar on the other side. I’m deep in medical debt, facing a divorce and terrified that I’ve totally run my business into the ground as I collapsed in on myself this year. Add to that the loneliness and isolation of the pandemic and you’ve got a great recipe for a very sad Amy.

So here goes nothing I guess…

The wheels keep turning

Working for yourself is rad as fuck for so very many reasons, but the major pitfall of this life is that when you’re not ok, your business is not ok.

An off day here and there is chilled and you get to stay in bed and watch Disney movies on repeat while crying into some ice cream. No boss riding your back about doctor’s notes to “prove you’re physically sick” or any of that noise. The freedom and flexibility is wonderful!

But what if you’re very fucking sick and need a week off? Or two? Or more? Then your business takes a big knock. Solopreneurs do all the things all the time. Nobody is there to pick up some of the slack when we fall down. Instead emails are left unanswered, projects slip into overdue, invoices slide through the cracks, marketing becomes non-existent and client relationships suffer big time. And before you know it your business is nothing but a neglected website and Instagram page with overdue bills and an empty calendar.

When you're not okay; your business is not okay.

And I am not ok

Like totally not ok. At all. For the last few weeks I’ve been doing better than I have in months and I’m showering every day, brushing my teeth and getting the fuck out of bed. The house is clean and the laundry and dishes are done. I’m walking again and getting back into the totally overgrown garden. And those are huge huge wins for me right now.

But I’m broke as fuck. Like broke broke with unpaid bills piling up and no idea how I’m going to pay my rent in four days. And I’m so fucking overwhelmed that I spend a lot of time just crying or doomscrolling social media. And I know I need to get a fucking job. Or give some time and energy to codepuffin again. My precious business. The thing that has given me hope and income and independence and freedom and strength. But I’m terrified and crushed and have no idea where to begin.

So I’m starting where I always find myself. Behind some words. With writing spilling out of me like blood from emotional wounds. 

It all starts with some longform content right?

The basis of everything else

Long form content to inform some marketing posts and build out a newsletter. Writing to let out the feelings and confusion and pain. Words to help me make sense of what’s in my head. Making some money to have a home and food to eat and water and lights. Necessity is the basis of everything else. So let’s get back to basics.

Buy my time and expertise

Big projects take time and are unlikely to be booked in for this year. So to make some quick cash I’m going to be selling my time.

One hour, three hours, all day. I can do literally whatever during that time with you. We will hop on a Google meets call and I can help you write some copy, edit your existing website, advise on UX, you can pick my brain, we can just chat about cats, I can teach you how to crochet, we can set up a newsletter, I can share some great baking recipes with you, we can bitch about the patriarchy, intro to using Elementor, tools I use to do what I do, marketing tips, problem solving, system design, process planning, website updates and backups, my Catan strategy, we can talk about poetry, and literally whatever else you need help with.

For real, I can help you with stuff!

One day template websites

Book. Pay. Show up. 

It’s really that easy. 

And for only R2500. PLUS I’ll help with copywriting, stock image sourcing, marketing advice, buying a domain, setting up hosting, all the things you need to get your shiny new site done and alive on the internet for all to adore. In just a single day of your life (exactly six hours actually).

And maybe a job aint so bad either. Maybe.

Steady salary and set work hours eh?

Maybe that aint so bad. It’s far less responsibilty than running my own biz. And I do have R150000 of medical debt to pay. 

My future is currently very blurry. I need to move house and disentangle my life from another person. A job will maybe eventually crush my soul… but I know I’ll at least enjoy the first few months like I always do. I know I’ll enjoy being around people again. I know having a reliable salary in my bank account each month will ease a lot of anxiety. And I haven’t worked in an agency before so I’ll start looking there.

I hope to be able to pack up my life into a van and hit the road as a digital nomad at some point in the future. Or maybe a nice cosy homebase and then forays into the wild camping and stuff. Who knows what the future holds!

idk what the fuck to do

What I do know

Is that I need some cash flowing into my life again. That I still value financial independence. That I need to leave my home and my cat and my best friend of the last 13 years. That I’m terribly sad. I know that I need therapy – a luxury that seems so far off at this time.

But I’m also hopeful and excited. 

A dear friend taught me a goodie: AFGO. Another Fucking Growth Opportunity.

But first: work and money.

So I’m putting it out into the universe

I can write and think and build hella rad WordPress websites. I can assess designs and advise on user experience and interface. I’m a digital marketing whizz kid and can make a mean mojito. I can crochet and operate a glue gun and service a car. I’m a problem solver and brainstormer extraordinaire. I can cook and bake and sew and make friends with any cat. My conversation skills are superb and I can make anyone feel welcome. I like stories and talking and dancing and attention and I have a weird obsession with socks. And I can learn just about anything there is that needs doing.

I’m calling on the universe, the world, the people that follow me on socials and those in my real life network. I need to get back on my feet again; after literally getting back up on my feet again after the ankle injury. Send some work and opportunities my way. Help me live again.

Buy my time. Get my expertise. Or gimme a job.

So buy some of my time, get a rad template site in one day, tell me about a sweet job, or just send me a mail with a picture of your cat.

P.S. check out the van I’ve got my eye on here.

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